"We don't swim in your toilet so don't pee in our pool"

This goes out to all those folks who enjoy nitpicking other's 'faults' (perceived or real). Its real fun when you're pointing out someone else's problems, but one look within will reveal that we aren't without our own faults ourselves. Reminds me of this quote from Friends from a long time ago, that is the subject line of this post. This line came to me as I was just getting out of bed from a short nap, in that space between sleep and wakefulness. Funny as it sounds, its often true. We are oblivious to our own faults while picking on those of others. Its a defense mechanism in a way, it makes us "feel" good to look for wrongs in others, it elevates us to a position of judgment, giving us a sense of power in what is really a world where we have little or no control. The problem with most of us is that we don't recognize this fundamental truth. Control. A word with endless connotations and meanings. One of my professors at IIT makes this statement in the beginning of one of his courses, where he says that a basic truth in life is that we have no control: what we are under, is an illusion of control. I'm doing a bad job reporting his words exactly, but I often reflect on the message in his teaching when I feel the world changing around me or when something unexpected happens. It helps me stay calm under the situation and allows me to reflect a bit more rationally than I would have otherwise. Ofcourse I'm far from being completely detached, but hopefully will get there sometime. Giving up, even in a limited way is a truly liberating experience. That's what growing up is all about, anyway, isn't it?

Boy or girl?

What difference does it make as long as (s)he is healthy and happy? Its unbelievable that its the 21st century and we still cling on to ancient beliefs or prefer one gender over the other (depending on which part of the world we live in). Ultimately its all science and genetics, and the best, most educated brains (who often are unfortunately the ones asking the gender question) out there ought to know better than to guess or try to insist on having a boy or a girl..leave the poor mothers alone! They have enough to deal with as it is, without having men adding to their woes!

Parenting wisdom

Although this is still some time away for me, I notice a lot of parents, and by that I do mean a LOT, tend to label their children as 'naughty', 'nice', 'calm' or 'independent' and then use these labels to predict their behavior as they get older, say as teenagers and adults. My sincere request to all parents out there is to stop doing that..never ever tell your child, or tell someone else about your child (for example) that 'my kid is very independent, he/she has a mind of her own and refuses to listen to us'. Developing such stereotypes early on (while attractive) subconsciously affects the way parents behave with their kids, which in turn affects the way children respond, i.e. the classic self fulfilling prophecy, part of Psychology 101 in any undergrad class. More importantly, these beliefs often carry on into adulthood and often make us the people we are. While there's more a complex relationship like parent-child, its often the small things like this that go into making the person who (s)he is as an adult. So all you parents out there, watch out!

Thoughts from here and there

Spent the past few days in a thoughtful state-recovering from the events in the past week, and planning ahead for things to come. Realized there's only so much one can prepare for and we must leave the rest to time to take care of itself. Finished reading 'Eats, Shoots and Leaves' and am onto a book on Gandhi now, 'The Good Boatman' by Rajmohan Gandhi. A keeps telling me to keep working on my research as well. Its something I haven't done in a while, I must admit. There were a few papers written and submitted last month, but have pretty much given my brain a vacation in the past 10 days or more as far as work is concerned. Today a colleague called to discuss some work-related stuff, and thats when I realized I was getting a bit rusty. Dug out my old library of papers and did some reading..getting back on track now.

The weekend was productive..spent it getting an all-clear from the doc, with advice on keeping a close watch on things henceforth. Got groceries for the week, drove around the city a bit..its cloudy during the day these days, perfect for taking off on a car spin to the beach or just roam the streets of Chennai marvelling at houses located in quiet, clean, neighbourhoods with lots of trees for shade. My idea of perfection! :)

Got back home and was channel surfing for a while and realized there's nothing, absolutely nothing on TV, same as when we had Doordarshan as our only option, and the famous 'rukawat ke liye khed hai' card as our standard screensaver! Atleast I didn't pay a few hundred bucks each month for doordarshan-its slightly sad to have 200 channels covering sports, entertainment, news, etc and still have nothing to watch! Yesterday no matter what channel I was at, the only thing..the ONLY thing that was on was Dhoni's 'exclusive' wedding to which no one was invited. I'm not even sure if the average TV viewer is interested in Dhoni's life off the cricket ground: as long as we bring home important trophies, I think thats all the average sports fan wants! He can date/marry whomever he likes, I doubt if anyone really gives a cat's meow about it! Anyway, I think the media's continuing coverage of the wedding was aimed at generating audience interest in the subject-I think we were almost expecting Dhoni to do a Sania Mirza at the last minute and call off the engagement before marrying Deepika Padukone or Asin!

So while the world wishes Dhoni and his new bride all the very best, I just want to tell the media to back off-I think Dhoni sent the message to them loud and clear when he chose to get married at a remote estate with high iron gates and a sign that said 'Trespassers will be prosecuted'. Thats enough to keep me off the subject in any case!

Time for some good old fashioned reading!