Games people play

'Games people play' is a book I've yet to read. However, games people play in daily life often continue to fascinate/interest/torment me, depending on the nature of the game and the kind of people that are in involved in playing it. Some of these 'games' we tend to laugh away, others cause us endless sleepless nights.

To start with I'd like to acknowledge the fact that all of us are at a game, of one kind or another. We do so to keep up an image, impress people, get ahead in life, and a million other reasons. While not all such games or attempts at impression management affect others adversely, some of them do, and we should be careful that our games do not hurt others. I have come across some instances in the recent past where I think that the things people do, irrespective of motive hurts the other person who becomes the target of such behavior. Consider the following examples..

1) Persons A and B are close friends, who share everything in life. One day, A calls B and says that she got to know from others that B was away on a holiday to a great place, and sounds hurt that B didn't tell her so in person about the vacation. B, on her part, had spoken to A's parents and had in fact mentioned the upcoming trip. It just so happened that A wasn't home when the conversation happened, and A's ever-so-busy parents forgot to update her about B's trip. However, A is ignorant of the fact and blames B for keeping things her. B naturally thinks A's parents have hidden motives for keeping things from A, such as phone messages or conversation updates.

2) C and D are coworkers and friends as well. Of late, C finds that D spends a lot of time on other things but little or no time, when it comes to maintaining contact with C. C feels secretly hurt but doesn't say anything to D. D needs help with life but doesn't know it. C sees the need for help and is pushing towards helping D with it, only to be told to be left alone.

These two instances are just a snapshot of the kind of behavior we convey to others. In our own way, its part of the grand repertoire of games we indulge in, perhaps to create an image, but in the process, aren't we deceiving ourselves? Isn't it simpler to live a more straightforward life where we don't end up hurting others? While we are all human and therefore fallible, we must become aware of the things we do and whether what we do affects other people. Only with such awareness can we bring about small incremental changes in our attitudes towards others and our behavior and thus become more compassionate friends, spouses, children, relatives, parents, grandparents etc. It calls for a little introspection and perspective taking, and maybe a bit of cognitive and emotional self evaluation, but its worth the effort to see a close friend or loved one smile in one's presence.

Here's to an open, honest life :)