Thoughts on learning..

Oh give me a home where the buffaloes roam,
Where the deer and the antelope play,
Where seldom is heard a discouraging word
And the skies are not cloudy all day..

(Old song, quoted by Prof.M.S. Swaminathan during his keynote address of the exhibition for Promotion of a culture of peace among children and youth, IIT Madras, June 24th 2007)

This song quite reflects what we say to ourselves and to our children, spouse, friends, parents..and so on..do we encourage their gestures or efforts or discourage them? How do we go about making sure that we create and nurture happy well grounded individuals who are confident in themselves and their abilities?

This is a question that has bothered parents, teachers, psychologists and others for several decades, inspiring a bulk of research in learning theory. I will post an article I wrote for the Technikon magazine brought out by the IIT students, where I discuss what learning theory says about this issue. But for now, I want to focus on a few other things..

Firstly we need to recognize that individuals, irrespective of age, have some areas of strengths and a few areas of improvement. It is up to each of us to recognize and build on the former, and try to minimize the latter. Our parents, teachers, colleagues, friends etc can (and do!) play a major role in helping us be better individuals. At this stage, I would like to highlight for each of us, the role we can play as a supportive individual for another person. For one, be kind when criticism needs to be offered..try to use supportive phrases such as, "this is a good effort, but this is what could be done to improve on it in the future.." or "great work, but please follow it up with A, B, C and D for better output next time.." and so on. Make sure your tone at all times is not accusing, but polite, supportive and perhaps even loving, depending on the relationship in which criticism needs to be given. In short, kindness is key.

Next, recognize that every person deserves benefit of the doubt. Do not make assumptions about him/her at the start of an activity. Allow room for error. Avoid generalizations of behavior. Try to be objective and offer support and feedback in a meaningful manner wherever possible.

Be flexible. Make adjustments to the behavior and character of the other person. It is very likely that the other person is also making an attempt to adapt to your temperament and mode of functioning.

Small efforts like these could lead us to developing more meaningful relationships in life.